I have enjoyed watching Peter in the Gospel stories. Hot-headed, impulsive, a heart full of love of Jesus. He screwed up a lot, but was entertaining along the way.
But then I feel uncomfortable.
What if I’m supposed to learn something from Peter? After all, he went on to lead the church and is considered the first Pope. Somehow he must have grown beyond the impulse and cluelessness.
With our Foundations class, I recently reviewed the story of Peter trying to walk toward Jesus on the water, and as he starts to sink and calls out for help. I usually look at this story as a moment of doubt, and I see the doubt is centered on Jesus. But the commentator we were listening to in the class pointed out that Peter wasn’t doubting Jesus, Peter was doubting himself. He impulsively jumped out of the boat at Jesus’ call and started walking on water, just like Jesus, and then realized he was doing something that “couldn’t” be done, and doubted himself as he started sinking in the wind and the waves.
Is the doubt I experience more about me than about God? Ouch.
Peter grew from not understanding what Jesus was talking about, to trying to do what Jesus did even when Peter didn’t believe that he was able to do it. He went on to have the wisdom and leadership to lead the church in Jerusalem through difficult arguments (Acts 10), and walked to a martyrs death in Rome. He spent three years with Jesus in constant learning, and continued to grow in his faith after Jesus ascended to heaven. He never stopped listening and learning, even when the lesson in Acts 10 made him change his mind about something as major as what food is clean and holy to eat.
What boat do I find myself in? Am I willing to leap out when God calls? Do I put the time in to learning and listening so I keep growing? These are hard questions, and they are the questions that Peter’s life puts before me. He was in a boat that he knew, and was willing to jump out at Jesus’ call, and he never stopped stretching out in new ways.
Maybe instead of looking to Peter for comedic relief, I need Peter to inspire me to keep moving and growing in new ways to serve God and my neighbors. Amen.
Pastor Anna-Lisa Hunter
July 31, 2024
Peter, by Rembrant, 1632